Climb, Max

Eyes shut and yearning

Reach the depths of your figment.

Recoil to real life

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Focus

Ya know whacha gotta do

And I don’t want it but I’ll let it cause I still love you

We let it get to this point

So I skipped out this joint

Turned my back to you & never looked back cause my conscious is black & I can’t deal with that

Its amazing. This realization. This devastation ain’t so tragic. Open your eyes & it’s magic

I keep glancing back. And a part of me dies. Trying not to cry, forceful smiles mask the vacancy in my eyes.

Don’t look back. Grin and face the facts.

I got the change I sought with the fights I fought & the words I said & the distance in your head

Had me when you wanted

I watched my ticker ascend then violently plummet.

We fucking don gone and done it.

We gotta face it. It’s tragic. It’s magic. It’s real. It’s clear. It’s done. It’s here.

I didn’t want this. Did I?

Don’t look back. Grin and face the facts.

Tossin’

You are everything I ever wanted, but I didn’t believe could exist
tossing and turning
yearning. palms caressing. my. breasts
yearning eyes affixed when i’m undressing
reassuring pecks.
accompanied by your warm breath
across my neck
reassuring you choking me while you deliver the best pain
and I quiver. and I shudder
at the thought that you desire me
regardless of my complexities
you are now amongst the list of my necessities
reassuring you forms these tears that you wipe away
when I’m constantly being irrational and don’t want to lose you
so I push you away and let my words bruise you
I never truly want to abuse you
I’m tossing and turning
I want this passionate fire to keep burning
I want your reassuring

touch.

Vacation

broken dreams sprawled on the ground

choking on their blood whilst gasping for air
and you want us to be sound?

broken dreams crying to them. for them
from a few feet away minimum
because they are too afraid to come close
they can have the same fate in a matter of finger pulls and apathy

broken promises fill the air
of a vacation next summer
if their grades are kept up.

up like the direction of his eyes.
as he tries to grab on to the last few seconds of his life
as his defenseless family cries
his less-privileged life that he still valued
you ruined the fucking vacation next summer.

broken dreams of the raise at work that you probably won’t get now
not because your chief doesn’t want this for you
but the uproar on social media won’t allow it
broken dreams of your less extravagant vacation next summer
what a bummer

broken dreams because you may be stripped from your title
broken dreams of the colored lives you can’t take
and get off to
when you yourself are feeling black and blue

you know what else is black and blue?

the fucking nigga lying on the floor
that won’t get a chance to live that less-privileged life anymore

Clenched

Tripped into this chamber that my heart now lies in

my soul is rising

your lips. enticing
simply mesmerizing.

I can’t pull away
inching closer everyday

the past wants me out
my heart demands to stay

Quickly repeating actions
my seatbelt is fastened
my jaw is clenched
yet this thirst. un-quenced

Might be playing the game
but I’m down for the ride
fingers crossed it ain’t da same

in the bat of a lash, you can evade my side

 

the smile on your face
makes your smell and your taste
hurt

these emotions. unsteady
I think that I’m ready
I’ll give you myself… for all it’s worth

You’re informed that you’re having all of me
just know the pieces in this jigsaw
don’t all fit quite perfectly

Are you happy with that?
I’m not perfect. It’s a fact

Just reassure me with a yes
I panic when I guess

 

MY JAW IS CLENCHED.

For A Black Girl

“Not to be rude, but you’re really attractive…
for a black girl…”

Just let that sink in.

Not to be rude, but you’re really attractive
for a white girl…

Doesn’t flow so well, does it?
I wasn’t trying to be rude, I really wasn’t.

I guess my being a needle in a haystack
Means that the rest of the attractive population isn’t black?

“You’re not really black, you’re white”

Does my lack of slang represent lack of race. It just might?
I should be elated right now that you approve of the qualities
that make me seem as if I have less melanin to you

I am so happy right now that you took me under your arm as the token black girl

I am even more ecstatic that you segregated yourself from us mentally

I am overjoyed at the fact that being articulate can only derive from the Caucasian race

I am neither black, nor white. Thanks for putting me in my place

Keen

Your keen eyes infiltrate me
I lay motionless, my eyes affixed on you

as if I can read the ideas that prance around your head
as if my insecurities didn’t uproot themselves from the ground
sparking my consciousness to arise doubts from the blue.

My eyes affix on you as you turn away
Your temporal lobe aims at the solid black plasma screen
Glaring at your broad back and disheveled hair are my eyes that are also so keen.
Your anxiousness sits upright on the table like the light of day.

Speechless and uttering not one word are us both
My brief inquiry morphs quickly into hostile negligence

Entering, In.

the wool that your sweater consists of
creates warmth upon my skin
disregarding the irritation, i move further in.

the zephyr from the open sill
tickles the exposed flesh on my back
whilst your untamed facial hair tickles my chin
disregarding the irritation, i move further in.

the footsteps we hear scrambling beyond these four walls
mean absolutely nothing
because your heart beats so sound
disregarding the noise that seeks to distract me, I move further in.

the notifications from our phones
seek to separate our bodies from the peaceful intertwining
we turn them off and place them under the nightstand.
we move further in.

listening to the noises our bodies make
rids of my anxiety. rids of life’s complications
disintegrates all factors in the outside world with intentions to corrupt.
as you say those words, my lips interrupt
i am all the way in.